Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Rated: PG for some violence, mild crude and suggestive humor, and language.
Length: 91 minutes
Grade: DNF
Budget: $26 million
Box Office: $220 million (143 U.S., 34 Intl., 43 DVD)

Written by: Kevin James (first movie) and Nick Bakay (Lots of TV, no movies)
Directed by: Steve Carr (Are We Done Yet, Rebound, Daddy Day Care , Dr. Dolittle 2, Next Friday)
Starring: Kevin James, Keir O’Donnell, Jayma Mays, and Raini Rodriguez.

Summary:

A single dad can’t be a cop because of a physical ailment, so he’s a mall cop desperate for affirmation hopelessly in love with a beautiful kiosk girl. Then bad guys take over the mall, giving him a chance to prove himself a hero.

Comments:

This was not funny. I don’t mean that it was only moderately funny or that the jokes weren’t all that funny. I mean there weren’t any jokes. I watched about 30 minutes of this movie, which was nearly 24 minutes longer than I wanted to. But Kevin James is normally so funny that I couldn’t believe a movie featuring him in a comedic role could be so deliberately uncomedic. So I skimmed through the rest of the movie, and my suspicions were confirmed. No jokes. Ever. Just bland blandness followed by more bland blandness. A good friend of mine said this was a “clean, wholesome movie.” Yeah. All of his movie opinions and recommendations are now in the suspicious category going forward.

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Overall Grade: DNF