Bride Wars (2009)

Rated: PG or suggestive content, language and some rude behavior.
Length: 89 mind-numbing minutes.
Grade: D-CCD=D
Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $142 million (59 U.S., 56 Intl., 27 DVD)

Written by: Greg DePaul (Saving Silverman), Casey Wilson, and June Diane Raphael
Directed by: Gary Winick (Charlotte’s Web, 13 Going on 30, and Tadpole)
Starring: Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Chris Pratt, Bryan Greenberg, and Candice Bergen.

Summary:

Two lifelong friends who have always dreamed of the perfect wedding in June at The Plaza become worst enemies when their weddings conflict and neither is willing to yield.

Entertainment Value: D-

And I must be honest, I feel pretty generous giving it that good of a grade. I nearly fell asleep twice, and the only reason I stayed awake was because I wanted to be able to give it a review without suffering the only thing worse than staying awake to watch it: falling asleep and having to watch it again later anyway. This is surely one of the most stupid plot premises in recent history staffed with unbelievable characters who are supposed to be really smart except for the things that impact on the plot somehow. But of course, all this could be forgiven if it had been what a comedy should be: funny. But, alas, no redemption there. Now, in all fairness, I worried that this movie might be worthless ever since I saw the first ad, but I tried it anyway figuring (correctly) that lots of people have seen it. But if my pain can serve as a warning to anyone else, then I’m happy to spare others the pain.

Superficial Content: C
Drugs/Alcohol C, Sex/Nudity C, Violence C+, Language C, Illegality C
PG is not right. First of all, the ads were PG-13. Then you have drunkenness (lots of beers and shots), sexuality (unmarried people living together, scenes in bed, strip club dancing, bra scenes), language (B, S, A, and “Mother-F”), and endless very harmful pranks being pulled by one girl against the other. This is not what I expect from a PG movie at all. In fact, I was a bit surprised to see it be only PG in the first place.

Significant Content: C

Friends should be forever. Even if you ruin your wedding, it may turn out to be a good thing. Having a big wedding of your dreams is really important. Women are basically crazy.

Artistic/Thought Value: D

One of my major peeves about movies is when they have entire plots built around people either not seeing or else refusing to follow simple solutions or advice, like here. In all honesty, I don’t even have the heart to continue criticizing this movie.

Discussion Questions:
~What sins would you say contributed to the problems in this movie becoming major issues? What sort of Biblical principles can you think of that might have solved these issues before they became insurmountable? Why didn’t any of the other people in these women’s lives do anything to help them not destroy themselves?
~Why is revenge a bad thing? What lessons does this movie have to teach us about revenge? Have you ever wanted to take revenge on someone? Did you actually do so? What is the Christian solution to revenge?
~How important is it to have “the perfect wedding?” What else could be done with that much money? Why do women want such things? If we imagine the wedding as a symbolic foreshadowing of our union with Christ, does it make more sense that it be a big deal? If you had a friend who was trying to decide between going to a justice of the peace and having a big, fancy wedding, what would you advise and why?
~When people are pushovers, they sometimes overreact when they finally do take a stand. This is sometimes called being passive/aggressive. Where do you see this in this movie?

Overall Grade: D

Think anti-Nike. Just don’t do it.