Blades of Glory (2007)

Rated: PG-13 Grade: DDDF=D

Directed by: Josh Gordon and Will Speck, but does anybody really care?

Starring, well, including anyhow: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poheler, Jenna Fischer, William Fichtner, Craig T. Nelson and a bunch of real life skaters like Mark Hamilton, Nancy Kerrigan, and Sasha Cohen.

Summary: Banned from singles competition for life, arch-rivals and sworn enemies Will Ferrell and John Heder decide to re-enter competition and seek the gold by becoming the first male-male pairs skaters.

Entertainment Value: D Will Ferrell has only ever been in one movie I liked, and it was his dramatic role that made him good: Stranger than Fiction. Although Elf was okay. Jon Heder is now guilty by association. Unfunny, vulgar, and stupid. So, in other words, it’s a Will Ferrell movie. The only reason it’s not an F was because they chose Flash Gordon by Queen for one sequence, and I just can’t totally pan any movie with “Flash…Ah-ahhh” in it.

Superficial Content: D Drugs/Alcohol D, Sexuality D, Violence C, Language D, Illegality C. It doesn’t have a lot of particular things to offend, but it has an overall “Ick” factor well beyond PG-13. The most egregious elements are Will Ferrell’s constant sexual references and situations. And there’s a continual undertone of incest between the pair who are the boys’ closest competitors. I easily give it a D for sheer crudeness. Crudity? Cruditivenessity? Whatever. You know what I mean. It’s a Will Ferrell movie.

Significant Content: D Lessons? What lessons? Break the rules. Do your own thing. If at first you don’t succeed, perhaps you just aren’t ruthless or ridiculous enough to be in ice skating?

Artistic/Thought Value: F Here’s the main thing I totally didn’t understand about this movie. Why did so many real-life skaters participate in making it? I was embarrassed for them much the same way I was embarrassed for John McCain that he chose to participate in Wedding Crashers. But even more so since it was a direct send-up of their beautiful sport, in which they participated. Like so many, wait, all, other Will Ferrell movies, I have the distinct impression that it was a decent premise which could have been made well…but wasn’t.

Discussion Questions:

• Why did so many skaters participate in this movie?
• Should Will Ferrell movies get an automatic R rating?

Overall Grade: D If you love Will Ferrell and Saturday Night Live and you don’t mind sitting through a 93 minute long SNL sketch that should have been about 4 minutes, you’ll like this. For the rest of us…no.