Meet Bill (2008)

Rated: R for language, some drug use and sex-related material.
Length: 97 minutes
Grade: DDDD=D
Budget: $5 million, amazingly
Box Office: $59,108, yep, not much.

Written by: Meilsa Wallack, with her first effort. It can only get better.
Directed by: Bernie Goldman, who has no priors worth mentioning.

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Jessica Alba, Elizabeth Banks, Logan Lerman, and Timothy Olyphant.

A guy stuck working a corporate job for his father-in-law discovers his wife is having an affair with a news reporter, and he tries to win her back with the help of a student who seeks him out for mentoring.

Every indicator that this would be a worthless movie told me that this would be a worthless movie. I ignored them all. I thought, “Hey, I like Aaron Eckhart and Jessica Alba, and Elizabeth Banks is good in Scrubs. Surely the experts are all wrong.” Nope. I was. I wrote this review for one reason. So that you don’t have to watch this movie. It is properly R rated, though probably at the lower end of that scale, honestly. But seriously, don’t be misled by the fact that Blockbuster has 100 copies. They’re hoping you won’t read any reviews of it or notice the $60 K in total box office this movie made. Sorry, Aaron Eckhart, I’ll try not to hold this against you too much.

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