Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Rated: R for violence, gore, and language.
Length: 86 minutes
Grade: DNF
Budget: $40 million
Box Office: $42 million US, $87 million Intl

Directed by: Colin and Greg Strause, who haven’t directed anything worth noting, but have worked as visual effects supervisors on a ton of high-quality action movies, including the new Incredible Hulk, Jumper, and previously made The Invasion, Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer, Shooter, 300, X-Men, Poseidon, Aeon Flux, and T3.
Written by: Shane Salerno, who wrote UC Undercover episodes, Shaft, and Armageddon.
Starring: Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, John Ortiz, Johnny Lewis, Ariel Gade, and other people.

You have to understand something. Alien, Aliens, and Predator are some of my all-time favorite action/horror movies. (Alien Resurrection was universally recognized as silly.) AVP 1 was pretty lame as I vaguely recall, but I thought I’d give this a try anyhow. Oh how disappointed I was. This was awful. I had to force myself to even make it 40 minutes in before I just quit in frustration, and I only got that far after three different attempts. The plot makes no sense. It’s neither scary nor good action. It’s impossible to visually follow what’s going on. And they seem bent on destroying all the characters. There just wasn’t anything in this to draw me in or to keep me there once even if they had. And the goofy premise of the half-Alien, half-Predator was nothing more than an Alien derivative that I don’t know why they bothered. As Homer Simpson would say, “Boooring.”

No comments: