Heartbreak Kid (2007)

Rated: R
Length: 115 Minutes
Grade: DGHF=G
Budget: $60 million
Box Office: $37 million US, $91 million Intl, $11 million DVD

Directed by: The Farrelly Brothers, Bobby and Peter, whose previous work includes Dumb & Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, Me Myself & Irene, Shallow Hal, Stuck on You, and Fever Pitch (which was excellent).
Starring: Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller (And, yes, Ben and Jerry are son and father) Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan, Jerry Stiller, Rob Corddry, Carlos Mencia, and Roy Jenkins.

Summary:

After marrying a beautiful woman he hardly knows, Eddie quickly discovers he’s made a horrible mistake. While on their honeymoon in Mexico, he meets another woman and falls in love with her, though only he knows he’s married.

Entertainment Value: D

If you love vulgar, stupid, senseless, situational-stress comedy a la Ben Stiller’s usual junk, you’ll possibly enjoy this. Otherwise, it’s awful. I will admit that there are a handful of funny moments, but this was surely a quittable movie. But my wife likes to punish me by forcing me to finish movies we’ve started sometimes.

Superficial Content: G (Yes, on an A-F scale.)

Drugs/Alcohol F, Sexuality G, Violence C, Language G, Illegality C
There is graphic sex content and sex discussion. And the use of language is atrocious, really bringing a new low to vulgar terminology. Also, people are always getting drunk and sometimes high. But otherwise, it’s squeaky.

Significant Content: H (Again, yes, on an A-F scale.)

Simply put, this is the most evil movie I have seen in recent memory. The movie is completely hostile to marriage, enthusiastically pro-divorce, and thoroughly noxious to traditional morality. It actively makes you want divorce and infidelity.

Artistic/Thought Value: F

This is a classic piece of literature set to a brilliant score and with subtle nuance makes you think of several transcendent themes. No, wait. It doesn’t do any of that. This is dung on the garbage heap of modern culture. And in case you think I’m exaggerating, the whole reason I’m doing this review is so that none of you are even remotely tempted to rent this trash.

Discussion Questions:
No. Because that would be to imply that there is something worthwhile here and also to imply that any of you would have disregarded my advice and actually watched this movie.

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Overall Grade: G

I don’t know if I’m more bothered that this movie actually made $37 million in the US or that it apparently made $91 million overseas. What an embarrassing day for America. If ever we were justified in censoring exported media on foreign policy grounds, this would be the test case.