Dragon Wars (2007)

Rated: PG-13
Grade: DNF
Budget: $32 million
Box Office: $11 million US, $60 million int’l, $4 million DVD

Directed by: Hyung Rae-Shim, in his American directorial debut.
Starring: Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks, Robert Forster, and Aimee Garcia.

Every 500 years, something weird happens with good dragons and bad dragons and eternal life and massive armies of clone warriors or something.

I have a new rule. My new rule is to see how much money a film made in the theaters because apparently Blockbuster has a policy of buying a bunch of DVD copies of movies that completely flopped at the theaters. They call them Blockbuster Exclusives, but there’s a reason. The only one we’ve watched that was really good was Miss Potter. Granted, this one wasn’t quite that bad of a flop dollar wise, but I’ve already saved myself the pain of renting Suburban Girl, Blonde Ambition, September Dawn, and The Hunting Party just based on the fact that they all totally failed to make money. Had I done the same here, I might have been spared the pain. It’s sort of like a 2007 Princess Bride for kids only campier, not funny, and far too violent for any 8 year-old to watch. Instead of the Never-Ending Story, this is the never-interesting story. We actually watched the first 40 minutes and then adopted a scan-and-see approach on the DVD. And I discovered something interesting. The final main sequence from minute 60 to 82 is actually fairly good action stuff and cool just for the all-out dragons fighting Apaches. But seriously, there’s no plot here, and it’s far too scary for younger kids plus all the strange Eastern mysticism concepts like reincarnation, heavenly omens, and fate. This is a sad pass, because who doesn’t like a good dragon movie? Dragonheart and Reign of Fire are much, much, much better. I guess I only have myself to blame, given that the opening title was "Dragon Wars: D-War!"

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